Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Yes, I am still Alive

I know I have been silent for too long, leaving my readers with no explanation to my absence.  I don’t really have a good excuse, I have rationalized my silence in much the same way I deal with my weight issues. But, today I was hit square in the mouth with the reality of my situation. So I will lay out my weak excuses for at least not popping on the blog and letting people know what was going on with me. 

In the first place I had reached the point where I didn’t want to struggle anymore with figuring out what to eat and how much I could eat. I know what types of food and how much to eat to facilitate weight loss but actually selecting and preparing the food is another thing. Needless to say I have been off program since my last post. I have eaten whatever and whenever I wanted not caring how much of it I ate. One of the things I didn’t want to fall into were blog postings of oops I fell off the wagon, but tomorrow is another day. I also did not want to be a hinderance to others with my failures. I have continued to follow the journeys of my fellow weight loss bloggers and I really didn’t want to have a negative impact on the community. 

Secondly, I have been battling something I have never faced before. I began to deal with stress and turmoil with comfort foods. Maybe I have been guilty of this before but only recently did I realize I was sitting in my chair worried about something and I would get up and make me something to eat. One night after Thanksgiving I was sitting in my chair watching TV when I realized I was not hungry but I was continuing to eat anyway and it felt good. That is until I remembered what I was doing before I made me some cream cheese dip. I was worried about my job and the direction it may take in the coming year. 

The other reason I have not posted on my blog is because I don’t like to admit failures. The way things have been lately that would be most all of my posts. If you ask the people I work with they would also tell you that I don’t like to ask for help. One of the reasons I started to blog about dieting and weight loss was to hopefully encourage others to succeed. It is hard to offer encouragement when I myself am discouraged. 

For those of you that have sent me words of concern and encouragement I want to apologize for my silence and thank you for reaching out to me. For those that have continued to visit my blog I want to apologize to you also. Now, what about the future? I am not sure about that right now. I want to lose this weight but I don’t know if I am truly ready to make the daily sacrifice. Will I return to blogging about my weight issues? I am not sure about that either. 

At least now you know what happened to me. I understand if you decide to unsubscribe from my feed or remove me from your bookmarks or blogroll. I wish all of you the best of luck. 


Matt (Girth Watch) said...

It seems we have all had that happen to us one way or another. I find it a comfort that I'm not the only failure sometimes.


Keep it up! Don't give up!

pearl said...

Hey Joey - I just clicked on your blog and realized you hadn't been posting! Im sorry to hear you've been feeling down with your program and goals but I just wanted to say, you don't have to post about your weight goals, just change the direction of your blog and start posting whatever you else you are involved in, or have knowledge about... would love to see this blog revived again..

My bests